A Walk Amidst Clouds
Saturday, August 12, 2006
An Ode To Kolkata
Not so long ago, when I used to write in MSN Spaces, I had posted it there. It has been a long long time, since I have switched my home base & here I am now; on Blogger. But a recent trip filled me with things long due. So this is what is due from my side. Here is an edited version of something from my past...
December 22
There is a place in Kolkata which has seen me falling in love and loosing everything afterwards. NO, it didn't happen recently, as recently as yesterday or last month. It has been a long time I have left Kolkata and always longing to go back with something big on my mind. But that numbing feeling is subsiding these days. Why, do you really wanna know? My B'day is coming up and when I look back at last 3 years, I feel nothing but sad, terrifyingly sad...
... And now is coming 2005. And I am a little scared. For I hardly know what the next year holds for me. I don't want to plan my life and live accordingly. Let me take it as it comes. As for the city, which gave me my first dash of hope & opened a path of success (& etc etc), here are a few words...
An Ode To Kolkata
December 22
An Ode To Kolkata
There is a place in Kolkata which has seen me falling in love and loosing everything afterwards. NO, it didn't happen recently, as recently as yesterday or last month. It has been a long time I have left Kolkata and always longing to go back with something big on my mind. But that numbing feeling is subsiding these days. Why, do you really wanna know? My B'day is coming up and when I look back at last 3 years, I feel nothing but sad, terrifyingly sad...
... And now is coming 2005. And I am a little scared. For I hardly know what the next year holds for me. I don't want to plan my life and live accordingly. Let me take it as it comes. As for the city, which gave me my first dash of hope & opened a path of success (& etc etc), here are a few words...
An Ode To Kolkata
I await Kolkata
The day I come back to you
To embrace the mist of diesel,
To taste the sweat of labour.
I am coming home Kolkata
To a place I grew emotionally
To an adolescent from a child
I am on my way honey,
Now make me a Man.
The day I come back to you
To embrace the mist of diesel,
To taste the sweat of labour.
I am coming home Kolkata
To a place I grew emotionally
To an adolescent from a child
I am on my way honey,
Now make me a Man.
Complete my teaching
Of Joy and Sorrow;
Of Journeys & Halts;
Of Love & Hatred.
Fill me with feelings,
Of creating a wave;
Of embarking a change;
Of going beyond the bridge.
Of Joy and Sorrow;
Of Journeys & Halts;
Of Love & Hatred.
Fill me with feelings,
Of creating a wave;
Of embarking a change;
Of going beyond the bridge.
Wash my past,
Filled with filth.
Of loathed love.
Of a harboured guilt.
Filled with filth.
Of loathed love.
Of a harboured guilt.
Very soon, I'll be there.
Wanting to sleep pretty,
Dreaming of the days to come.
I have been away too long,
Scared now as hell.
I am coming home soon,
Wrap in your arms when I land...
Wanting to sleep pretty,
Dreaming of the days to come.
I have been away too long,
Scared now as hell.
I am coming home soon,
Wrap in your arms when I land...
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Soulless
Once upon time, when I was pretty much soulless, I wrote this on a rainy afternoon. My eyes filled with tears, like many other days that year, I just wished...
September 09, 2005
Soulless
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Singing the hymn of the dawn,
Bidding goodbye;
Walking away from the rising sun,
Into a sulking corner of my heart;
Singing the hymn of the dawn,
Bidding goodbye;
Walking away from the rising sun,
Into a sulking corner of my heart;
Wishing the sunlight never enter the arena,
That is my heart
Preferring darkness over daylight,
This is my life.
Resting on the edge,
Half hanging out of the door;
Hugging the roots hanging from the maple tree,
Tugging it like my mother's cloths;
Staring at the blank ceiling
Sleeping with eyes wide open
Lying lifeless in a tears soaked shirt
Breathing the last bits of my soul out
Like it's all over.
Monday, August 07, 2006
MileStone
Another blast from Past. Some people might think; was that me or what sort of moron, but whatever it was, it is a part of my history. Once I complete this migration, i will start publishing some new stuff here. Till then, keep visiting my forest of thought.
September 04
Rise and Fall
Just thinking out of the blue, after another week in darkness, gloomy thoughts (in short depression), I again opened notepad on my comp and started stupid something . Just cant stop this talk in my head, of salvation, remembrance of the past, longing for forgiveness of dear ones I have hurt in past, seeking solace in solitude, just out of my wit's end. I sometimes felt like disappearing again into nothingness, this time the urgency of the cause was far too weak; nothing like the liminal I had peaked to last year. Somehow I was able to delay the fusion of the 2 worlds, organically similar but behaviourally as distant as Pluto & Mercury. The outcome of that one more tussle of thoughts was what is just below:
MILESTONE
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A simple heart, A simple wish
A simple life, All that I dreamt
Never to seek a perfect world
See perfection in the imperfect
Pen my emotions
Never loose a word that ever flashed in my head.
Never to complain,
Never to crib,
Always walking ahead with the memoirs of yesterday.
Scared of looking behind,
Scared of getting lost in those misty lanes,
I close my eyes & go on,
Carrying inside a vision undefined & undescribed.
Somewhere down the road,
There is "The End" written on a board,
I can't see it from so far away.
But pushing for that last point,
I go past a milestone every minute,
Reminding me,
Another moment is history now.
Go and find my diary,
It is somewhere buried deep within the pile.
Every day & every second,
I am journaling it all there.
Living like a dead shell,
Creeping towards unknown,
Not counting days, minutes, seconds,
I close my eyes and go on.
Reaching there would take its own time,
So will grow the weight on my soul,
However, this is how it must be,
My treading road of loneliness,
Persuasion of self realization,
Seeking Salvation,
Burning Body and Soul,
To cross the last milestone,
To reach the goal unknown.
Always walking ahead with the memoirs of yesterday.
Scared of looking behind,
Scared of getting lost in those misty lanes,
I close my eyes & go on,
Carrying inside a vision undefined & undescribed.
Somewhere down the road,
There is "The End" written on a board,
I can't see it from so far away.
But pushing for that last point,
I go past a milestone every minute,
Reminding me,
Another moment is history now.
Go and find my diary,
It is somewhere buried deep within the pile.
Every day & every second,
I am journaling it all there.
Living like a dead shell,
Creeping towards unknown,
Not counting days, minutes, seconds,
I close my eyes and go on.
Reaching there would take its own time,
So will grow the weight on my soul,
However, this is how it must be,
My treading road of loneliness,
Persuasion of self realization,
Seeking Salvation,
Burning Body and Soul,
To cross the last milestone,
To reach the goal unknown.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Phoenix
First Published on 02 August, 2005 in my MSN Blogs (<- Now No More)
Phoenix
(The Free Spirit)
________________________________________
(The Free Spirit)
________________________________________
A feeling in my heart;
Sometimes
I just feel it
Kicking like an unborn kid inside
To take a giant leap,
Learn to fly in the sky.
Just like a bird;
I know.
I am born to spread
my wings of desire
Fly High My Way.
Touch the heights nobody travels to,
Leaving a trail of smoke behind.
Blind the rest with my metamorphosis,
Speed above the Machs
Quicker than even Lightening
"Phoenix"
Yes, That's what my name is.
Rising from the Ashes.
Wings Dripping with Fire,
Stop me If you can.
Because I know,
You can't.
Watch the incandescence
As I go higher and higher
To touch the lightening heights
To taste the rain at its source.
Live like this forever,
Wander forever
Yes; I will.
Until I am In the Throes of Death,
But till then, I Shall;
Because, I am the Free Spirit.
Yours Forever
A long long time ago, during my depression days, I had written something which I had posted on my MSN Space. While going through the space today, i just thought of bringing those beautiful verses here too. So here they are...
September 12, 2005
Yours Forever
September 12, 2005
Yours Forever
I know I have been heart-broken for months. I know I am leading a life straight into a holocaust, being a social misfit, a lunatic loner, a crazy co-worker & god know what I have forgotten to mention here. But I haven’t forgotten that fire that used to burn inside me. This is the reason I am alive today and living to see another when my dreams finally come true. I am not bothered about my career for I know I am doing better than the rest and sure to go places. No, I am not being over-confident. I have never been one. But one dream remains unfulfilled and I have no control over its realization. I know this is the reason I am at a war with gods. But I live to live this dream, to breathe it, to make it run through my veins and produce the essence of life to keep me going.
I know I am becoming more of a schizophrenic all the time. I know I am not treating myself well, but I will overcome. So come back my dream. Be my pillar of strength again. Be my inspiration. Be my heart, be my mind and passion. Be my life again.
Yours Forever
Last night
I saw stars & moons
After many many weeks in hiding
I again remember their shining bright in the sky.
I remember
The hope they give me
That I will find her someday
Somewhere she will be,
Waiting for me,
My Sweet Honey.
With a smile,
She will light up my world
With that glow,
She will give me strength to be warm and brave.
Filling me with love,
She will help me live the next second
Spark a love
Life will beat again in our heart.
I know
I will be there for her
Always and forever,
To love her,
To take her places.
Just be there girl
You know I am on my way
To come home to you
To make love to you again
To kiss your head,
And your toes,
Caress your sweet neck
Standing below the mistletoe
I swear
I will never leave you alone again.
I will love you
Till the end of my life,
And in the lives to come after too,
'Cause I know
You are my only one.
I promise girl,
To never back out on promises,
I will be there,
To always love you,
To be always by your side,
To be yours forever.
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